gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
