if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
