How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
