Having a random hookup so left but love u
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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