Im at strip club and am horny
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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