Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
