problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
