It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
