It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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