You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
