Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
