I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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