): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
