your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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