I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I die, sorry about rent.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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