3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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