then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
