We won't sleep together?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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