Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
