I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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