and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
