was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
