How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
