Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
