Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
