my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He felt like a one man threesome
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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