She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
