If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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