all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Bring me that man meat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
