What a fucking waste of an outfit
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
