His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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