I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
