I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
