True but thats because hes a fetus.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
