whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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