if only i could text you this smell
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
