we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Boobs speak an international language.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
soo... how was my night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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