i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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