You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
