I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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