He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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