remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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