Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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