I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
