Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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