i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
