I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Can I color on your dick again?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
