Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
