marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
