yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
